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personal growth
April 2009 
Not so much...
Posted on Aug 23rd, 2006
by 
Umguy
Umguy
Been wanting to blog and at the same time not really wanting to say anything. Sometimes I have a hard time seperating what I truly enjoy and appreciate from what I'd like the world to see me as enjoying and appreciating.
When explaining myself, I like to create a story arc out of my life. So it's not just that I'm a bit off balance and haven't felt like talking about it. It's that I'm coming to a crucial juncture in my life.
All this personal growth work has opened me up tremendously and shown me so much about myself that I've never dealt with explicitly. And so now I am overwhelmed and poised to either fall apart or become more whole than I have ever been. It's so self-aggrandizing. True in it's way, but...
I've been pushing myself and it has knocked me off my usual balance. Sometimes it feels good and I am filled with a strange (and foreign) confidence. Sometimes it's just unsettling.
When explaining myself, I like to create a story arc out of my life. So it's not just that I'm a bit off balance and haven't felt like talking about it. It's that I'm coming to a crucial juncture in my life.
All this personal growth work has opened me up tremendously and shown me so much about myself that I've never dealt with explicitly. And so now I am overwhelmed and poised to either fall apart or become more whole than I have ever been. It's so self-aggrandizing. True in it's way, but...
I've been pushing myself and it has knocked me off my usual balance. Sometimes it feels good and I am filled with a strange (and foreign) confidence. Sometimes it's just unsettling.
Access: PublicTagged with: personal growth
You said: “I am overwhelmed and poised to either fall apart or become more whole than I have ever been.”
I can totally relate, Umguy. I've experienced this same state before in my life. It's this amazing feeling like my whole being has been split wide open and there's a part of me crying to stay back and stay small, while another wanting me to lift up into an entirely new state. The only way around it for me is to just stay very present in the moment, (breath =), and to give love to all of my emotions as I allow them to flow through. Definitely not always comfortable but, then again, sometimes discomfort is exactly what the doctor ordered.
Thank so much for sharing. It's great to know that we're all in this together.
Thanks for the comment. I definately feel the split, some part of me wants to stay in place, stay small, and some other part is ready for the change. Discomfort is certainly a good way to describe it.
Supporting your efforts, Umguy!!! I can feel ya on this topic! I will be sending you tons of positive energy towards your highest potential… you are an awesome person!!
MsC: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
And so now I am overwhelmed and poised to either fall apart or become more whole than I have ever been.
I do relate to what you're saying. I believe that you're in a transition and you actually are falling apart a bit, but it's necessary in order for you to become the 'more whole' that you can see coming. You're fine, your growing and it's hard, uncomfortable, scary sometimes, but you'll make it, I know you will. What a wonderful spirit you are.
Michele: Thanks for the kind words. It's been an interesting few months.